give me money

new obsession.. soo not good for my procrastination/bank account. I just went and hid my debit card so I can't even begin to indulge. I went to my favorite store the other day--called Barracuda Bazaar in Old Colo City (yes, we do happen to call that the OCC). found a zillion things I want and today Ry surprised me at work with lunch (mm, Quiznos) and one of the tops I was checking out. it's a knee length, short sleeved cable knit sweater with gma-sized buttons... should be good with leggins and some slouchy brown boots.

I miss my fashion-interested (I won't really say obsessed) days. I've had some spurts of style here and there but most default to white Hanes t-shirts, hoodies, jeans, mocs. yikes. even my mom commented on my wardrobe this weekend. she asked why I was always wearing those ratty white things. HA! then I told her she looked like a fly fisherwoman in her boots :) love her.

but for serious, I need to amp up my closet. ps- I live such a weird dynamic of a life. I want to go into the field of Economic Development and yet here I am talking about all of the clothes I want to buy. but I won't lie- when I went to Senegal, I found that the African sense of style and fashion is badass.

THESE PLEASE!

whackos

Molly trying to climb into the bathtub

Kahlua trying to climb the window

how do I get stuck with these animals?

I feel like a wrecking ball

clumsy things I have done lately:

-ran my knee into Zuke's (my roommate's dog) open mouth, indenting my knee with three tooth marks and one big bruise.
-tripped over Molly's new toy, which is a combo of a rope and a hard plastic tube. it resulted in the bending of my toenail.
-bashed my head into the corner of my car's passenger door. I was getting gas and I turned around to toss my wallet back into the car... I misjudged the distance between my forehead and the extremely sharp corner. I now have a red line above my right eyebrow, making me look permanently surprised.
-scratched my arm on the corner of my nightstand while trying to turn the alarm off on my phone. I must have hit it at the perfect angle because I have had at least three people notice it.
-cut my finger on my parents' fridge. I was putting lettuce away in the bottom drawer and I happened to jam my knuckle into the lid part.

honestly, how is this even possible that I get injured so often? I used to be the most bruise-free person, always organized and careful and particular about my movements. now I find myself flailing about, banging into anything or anyone who enters my life.

in other news, I'm up at my parents' for the weekend. can't wait for some long walks, good meals, generally just some time away. Molly and I are going to bond, seeing as how she has recently been ripping up the couch. I guess it's her way of being mad at me for going back to school... the vet calls it separation anxiety. I call it being a brat.

Molly and Me?

I feel like this is turning into my version of Marley and Me... the adventures of Molly (and sometimes me). I can't really help it- she provides so much entertainment in my life on a daily basis, I feel as though I should share it. I also feel like a mom who is overly proud of/in love with her kid: I think everyone wants to hear about her all the time.


last night for some reason Ry and I both woke up at 3:30. I got up to get some water, and of course, once I'm up, everyone's up. I had to let the dogs out and when I let them back in, I fell victim to her latest scheme- stealing my spot in bed. we have a king sized bed and Ry and I sleep on a space of about a twin because the dogs take over. Molly though has recently been craving the one spot where she can't lay- my pillow. when she senses I'm about to go to sleep, or when I let her in from her nightly trip outside, she distracts me with something cute or annoying and then takes off around the corner to our room. when I finally get there, she's all settled in on top of my pillows, head on her paws, tail wagging just the tiniest bit. and she will NOT MOVE! no matter what I do--tempt her with treats, jingle the keys like we're going for a ride, yell at her--she will not get out of that spot. my latest method of getting my place back is just laying on top of her until she gets too hot or too crowded. even then it can take five to ten minutes. what a brat.


here she is, being the cutest puppy ever. Ry added the beer bottle (of course).


side story- this morning I got to class about 45 min early because I had some reading to finish up. I'm a big highlighter when I read and I tend to leave the marker uncapped when I'm busy doing other things. I had to get up and move in the middle of working and I must have smushed the pen tip up against my front... and of course I have a white lacy tank top on today. I walked around for about two hours with pink scribbles all over my right boob. classic.

tomorrow- more stories like the highlighter one. I really have become so clumsy.

list style

- my newest cocktail: cranberry juice and lime vodka. flavored vodka usually makes me cringe but I stumbled upon this creation a while back and now it's my go-to drink of choice. mmm.

- I have some days when I love my school and some when I hate it more than anything in the world. today (and this week, mostly) has been one of the lovey times. the weather here is gorgeous, the Econ dept makes my life easier, and when I get stuff done and taken care of, I feel good. being busy and productive is a good thing.

- today in class we watched Grapes of Wrath after about an hour, hour and a half of discussion. my prof had to leave at 12:15 (class normally ends at 12 but we went way over today) and literally the minute she walked out the door, three people packed up and booked it. haa.

- Molly went on a long walk yesterday, and then I took her for a bath at Wag N Wash. what a cool place- you pay $13 and get all your supplies for a doggy shower: shampoo, "cream rinse" (haha), exfoliating brushes (hahaha), towels, apron, etc. Molls did great with the washing part, she just plopped down in the bin and did her best to look wet and cute. but when it came to the blow dry, she about fainted. they give you a drying station with a blow drying hose and towels and everything, and once I turned that air on, she look petrified. I couldn't help but laugh because she thought this hose was going to blow her away. silly puppy.

seriously?

these two are just ridiculous. celebrity gossip is my vice and I am just never ever not shocked or surprised by the antics of Sick-Facial-Hair and Fake-Boobs.



can we just talk about 65 degrees in the Springs today? ahh, gorgeous. it was torture weather for the first day of block five. dear summer, please come fast. love, your biggest fan.

homework time. one of my assignments is to watch the inauguration tomorrow- done and done! I am worried though that something bad is going to go down... I've heard the security in DC is insane right now but still.

ps- pics to come from both Friday and Saturday nights. Ry took me to dinner at my favorite restaurant and we got all prettied up... then rushed home to change into sweats. :)

bowling

Ry got a Wii for Christmas (yes, we've finally caught up to everyone else in the tech sector) and we've been playing it here and there with friends and family. I have proudly acheived pro status, although it's taken some help, but I can sorta hold my own when we pull out the remotes on non-drinking nights. today Heather, a woman I work with, invited me to come REAL bowling with her and her son, Konnor. it's been a while, mostly because I absolutely suck at firstly not scratching the crap out of the alley and 2. even hitting one pin in three frames.

today I broke 100 on all three games! it was a miracle (and no, the fact that Kon had us all use bumpers did not have anything to do with this) and my highest score was a 130-something. for a girl who considers 60-80 anywhere in the realm of "pretty freakin good," I was impressed with myself. I also whooped up on the Fast and the Furious racing game and mini bowling- Heather had to remind me that beating a nine-year-old isn't necessarily one of my biggest accomplishments.

hmm.. other weekend activities? I had dinner with my lovely first year roommate Laura on Friday. we shared a pitcher and some artichoke dip over lots of stories from the past semester. too funny to think about where we both were about three years ago. college is so the time of change. also on Friday we headed out east for Ry's dad's birthday party. it was loud but lots of fun- Larry, who is 80, was my dancing partner for most of the evening. one unfortunate part of the night occurred when this guy (I'll call him A for you-know-what) asked me why I was even talking to him. I was sitting with Ry, our roommate, and their two friends, just talking crap and drinking beers. A comes up with a bottle of Crowne (first sign of complex- short, bald guy with a handle of Crowne, taking shots from the bottle) and starts chatting with the boys. I make a comment--nothing too big or noteworthy--and A just looks at me.
A: why are you talking?
me: umm..
A: stares at me, light gleaming off of his drunken bald head
me: I was just hanging out
A: but why are you talking to me?
me: stares at him, light shining off of my shiny lustrous hair (haaa)
A: you're a girl.
me: yes... (very good Einstein, are you sure that whiskey isn't smart juice?)
A: you shouldn't talk to me if you're a girl. it doesn't matter what you say.
me: ?#*$%^&$*(#$#($(@!?!??!?!!?
A: you have no importance.
me: middle fingers both go up and I walk off
all the other boys: SOUDFwPEHF@)*(#&$@203)#*&@#)*(WSDF!

what a prick. his wife (also fat and extremely unattractive) came up to me later and asked if I had learned my place and lesson yet. I smiled sweetly and did not say a word.

off to get some sleep before my first day of block five. more later this week- the inauguration should be interesting!

lottery

I said a couple of days ago that I would post my list of "to-dos" if I ever won the lottery. due to boredom at work and lack of other noteworthy items to write about, here it is:

(disclaimer: my lottery winnings would have to be in the tens of millions for all of my wishes to occur)
(also, this is in order of what I would do first, second, etc)

1. pay my parents back for my college costs... aka about $200k.
2. sock a good chunk away in savings accounts, investments, venture capital firms, etc.
3. buy cars! a jeep wrangler and audi tt for me, a little sports car for my momma, an old refurbished car for my daddy, whatever my brother wanted, a cadi for ry.
4. pay off various people's credit card debts. names not to be disclosed!
5. pay off my parents house completely.
6. SHOPPING SPREE!
7. personal trainer and chef. mm.
8. pay out the lease on my at-school house and start looking for a badass apartment in downtown Denver.
9. put some away for an amaaaazing wedding.
10. vacation! go to Alaska, New Zealand, back to Africa, back to Europe... take a couple of months and travel.
11. give a lot lot lot to humane societies all over the country. (I'd probably do this one after number five)

of course there are a million other things I'd love to do but first I need those winning numbers. or I guess I could just marry some old rich guy :) either way, it would be nice!

le senegal

I miss Africa. a lot. I got an email today from one of our off-campus study coordinators, asking for pictures from my study abroad experience because they're apparently putting together a presentation for other Africa-hopefuls. just looking through a few of those pictures and reading my friends' old blogs makes me so nostalgic. it was one of the most incredibly difficult and challenging experiences of my life... actually, I'll go as far to say that it was the single most ridiculous and incredible thing I've ever done. live in Africa for a couple of months. would have been longer but hey, sometimes life throws you curveballs that keep spinning and twisting almost a year later.

this and that

- yesterday I went to the dollar store to get some toys for the dogs. I figured they needed something to keep them busy while all of us are gone during the day... for Christmas I bought Molly one of those Kong things (you stick a treat inside and the dog is supposed to be all occupied with getting the treat out, which is an impossible task) but she just carries it around in her mouth and doesn't really care about what's inside. whenever I buy the dogs rawhides, Molly will eat both hers and Zuke's in about two minutes. so yesterday I spent a grand total of six dollars on tennis balls, stuffed hamburgers, a thing that looks like a pair of dice, a tug-of-war rope, etc. Ry bought Molly a big butcher type bone for five bucks, so I figured we were set and good to go. this morning, there is one toy left. the bone is gone, the dice are gone, the tennis balls are shredded, stuffing is everywhere... only a slobbery, mud-covered squeaky hamburger remains.

- I found a used disposable camera over the weekend and took it to Walgreens to get developed. I'm so pro-digital these days that I normally refuse to get any physical photos but I had a coupon :) so I was excited about getting these pics back--I had no idea where they were from and I thought maybe they'd be these really flattering shots of me and all of my wonderful, exotic adventures. ha. they were crap. I must have had a few beers and then gone into a dark room and pressed the shutter button about 27 times. every picture was grey (gray? I never know the right one), blurry, smudged, etc. and I could barely make out my big booty in a couple of them. it was like getting all of the correct lottery numbers except for one. lame.

- my newest craving has been Frank's hot sauce. if you know me well, you'll understand my aversion to all things spicy. mild salsa makes my eyes water. but lately I've been just drooling over Frank's and I've been trying to put it on everything. Ry's dad made us scrambled eggs the other day... I doused them in Frank's. I normally am creeped out by Ramen but when a heavy dose of Frank's? Mmm. after I'm done eating tears will be streaming down my face and I'll have drank a gallon of water, but my craving is satisfied... until about two hours later when I want some more. what is that all about? and no, I am anything but pregnant.

- speaking of the lottery, my newest plan is to win. maybe tomorrow I'll write about what I would do with 70 million dollars.

ry and i at lunch before christmas (and no, this was not one of my disposable cam pics):

dreams

I have been having so, SO many dreams lately. dozens of dreams that I remember every morning, down to the minute detail. I usually have dreams but when I try to remember them, they slip away. they remind me of thos squishy tubes with glitter and water inside... if you tried to grab onto the end, it would turn inside out and you'd drop it.

the weird thing is that recently my dreams have been all about death. for a week or so it was me who was dying. every night I would have a dream in which I died in a different way, but I always say my death and the aftermath. one that really sticks out for me is a dream in which I was apparently contemplating suicide. I had written a letter and after some dream-events (including seeing a play in this huge theatre that reminded me of SCN's theater

**I just finished writing this insanely long post and pressed "publish" only to find that the above is all that saved. sigh. I am so discourgaed, but I will try to summarize.

okay, so theater that reminded me of SCN's except maybe triple in size. after I wrote my good-bye letter and those events occurred, I decided to go through with killing myself. at that moment an eclectic (and I mean eclectic) group of friends showed up--friends from kindergarten, friends from CC, from the Springs, from work--and convinced me that they should be the ones to do it. they should make it a murder instead of a suicide. I happened to agree (sure don't know why I wouldn't???) and proceeded to watch them cut up my body and then roast those chunks in the oven. I seriously floated up above myself and could smell the cooking flesh. what in the hell does that even mean?! the craziest part is that I happened to wake up right in the middle of the dream (right as my friends showed up). it was about 4:30 in the morning and I got up to check on the dogs. normally the whole clan--two dogs, a cat, Ry and I--sleep in our bed but the pups had been bad that night so they were banished to the family room. I was awake for about five to ten minutes, and when I got in bed, it took me another ten or so minutes to fall back asleep. when I did, I fell right back into my dream, the exact spot where I had left off and everything continued as though I had never woken up in the first place.

I am such a whackjob.

so after the Kirby-dying dream phase, I continued with the death theme and moved on to other people dying, including but not limited to Ry's dad and people I have traveled with in the past. last night I had a dream where people died, but this time I didn't really know them that well. it was a Crash (the movie) type dream. I was involved with all of these different events and they all happened to tie in together and things were just going crazy by the end. there were drug deals, murders, sneaky spy things... whatever. I honestly woke up this morning and stared at the ceiling for almost half an hour, trying to figure out where in the hell my brain was getting this stuff. then Ry and I drove to his parents' house for breakfast and he had to scream at me so that I didn't blow a red light. I was so absorbed in figuring out these dreams, it's almost become an obsession.

my life is weird, both in sleep and while I'm awake. case in point- Molly was up on the kitchen table again this morning. she was not eating cat food or toys this time, but she was just laying there and crying because she couldn't get down. maybe she thinks she's just like the kitten and she wants to live in the cage up there?? who knows. then when we got back from breakfast we found a plastic bag shredded all over the family room and both dogs hiding in the bedroom. they are now outside in the backyard with a bowl of water and NO TOYS. crackheads.

tearjerker

last night Ry and I decided to go see Marley & Me. we originally planned on making salmon for dinner, then we thought we'd pick up cheap chinese, and then we went for popcorn for dinner at the theatre. we actually never ended up getting popcorn... hmm. but we did see Marley & Me, one I've been wanting to see since it came out on Christmas. I haven't yet read the book (except for Harry Potter, I try to stay away from mainstream bestsellers. James Patterson? nooo thank you) but I am such a sucker for puppies and labs and golden retrievers.. sigh. when we walked in, Ry said, "now, you cannot leave this movie begging me for another dog." jerk.

so wow. I did not expect Owen Wilson to do as good of a job as he did- I'm so used to seeing him in a Wedding Crashers-esque role. he was surprisingly good in this film.. still had his humor every once in a while, his sort of sarcastic "slip that remark in" type of joke, which ended up being ten times funnier than hearing that over and over. Jennifer Aniston was good too- yes, I love her as Rachel Greene but have a hard time with her in movies. this role, I liked. and Eric Zane (of Dr. Sloan, Grey's Anatomy fame [by the way, I missed the new episode last night, damnit]).. mmm. hot. but the winners of the movie were all the dogs that played Marley. Ry was so right to make his statement before the previews even began, because holy hell did I want another puppy.

alright so yes, the movie was good, but the ending was what got both Ry and me. Marley lives his long life with the family, through ups and downs, and when he finally hits old age, he gets sick. there's a trick moment where you think he'll get better and then it's just heart-wrenching from then on. I of course began crying when he first gets sick (aka with 30 min left in the movie), but we were both sobbing during the last scenes. holy moley. the feeling of losing a dog, especially one that is such a shit but so loyal and loving and such a part of your life... I certainly was a speed demon on the drive home. I couldn't wait to see my Molly. and it got me thinking about my parents' dog, Bacca, who has really grown up with me since third grade. she's getting up there in age and while the move to CO has been good for her, we've all started thinking about how she probably doesn't have too many years left. she's a big dog, an old dog, and she won't live forever. I tried to picture my dad seeing this movie last night and instead got a picture of what will happen when Bacca goes.. lordy. we are all going to have a hard time.

isn't it weird how dogs take that place in your life? (that is, of course, if you're a dog person.) they do take your whole heart and give you the same amount of love, if not more, back. how sappy of me, but I can't help it, these kinds of movies do this to me. what really got me though was how Ry was "tearing up" (he won't let me say he was crying)-- it's a sadness and an emotion that really gets to everyone.

after work I'm off to the library to get that book... and Rachel Ray's latest :)

clumsy

lately I have become one of the most accidental, clumsy people I know. I never used to be this way; I've always been very neat, organized, careful... not wanting to mess things up. recently, though, it's been kind of ridiculous.

last night I got home from dinner at Ry's parents' house and found Molly on top of the kitchen table... AGAIN. we never use our kitchen table for anything except maybe the place where we throw our keys and the mail, so when we got Ry's cat (Kahlua) we set up her little cage and food area up there. Molly must want to chase Kahlua or eat her food or something because this is the second time I've come home to find her 60 pound body on an area of about two feet. the first time, she just seemed scared and I figured she had gotten up there and couldn't get down (she's scared of heights), but last night, she was up there again and hopped down, all cheerful, so proud of herself. I of course got angry at my wacko dog and stuck her and Zuke (my roommate's dog) outside. I planned to leave the house again and figured I would teach those puppies a lesson by leaving them in the yard, but halfway down the street I changed my mind. call me a softie, but I was worried about them jumping the fence or digging a hole or something that would wind up with doggie roadkill outside my house. I told Ry I would just run in and let the dogs in, nope I didn't need help, and I took off at a run for the front door. now, we have these flagstone little steps up to the front door and some of them are at awkward angles and sticking out of the ground. in my haste I happened to lodge my right toes directly in the crevice between the step and the ground... and I went flying. I literally skidded to a stop on the concrete and dirt (only after my knees, elbows, and hand took the impact). the best part is that we happen to live on a fairly busy street in the Springs and I had just wrecked in front of half a dozen cars. awesome.

today my knees are swollen and red and bruised and my elbows burned in the shower. my bosses at work are convincing me to tell everyone I was drunk because that would be a less embarassing story. ha. it's not as bad as the other day when I filled my glass to the brim with peach iced tea, set it down on my nightstand, and then turned around with my arm still extended so that I knocked the glass toward my open closet door. oh the joy. I also happened to spray my touch lamp (the kind where you tap it and the light turns on in response to a change in temperature) so that it kept flicking on and off. great.

and of course today I walked into work and promptly dropped the first stack of about 25 papers I had to file. I am so coordinated.

numero uno

I've tried my hand at blogs but I always seem to get distracted after a few months.. I can't say this one will be different but I was sitting up front at work and hey, here's what I made :) my goal for this blog is to not have a diary sort of deal, but mostly tell stories about the weird twist my life seems to have taken during the past couple of months.

in any event, here I am, starting this as a senior at Colorado College, living in Colorado Springs, figuring out what's coming next in my life. right now I have to say my future past August is a blank slate. that's good and bad... mostly scary. it's also exciting- I have no clue what will happen and I love surprises. I suck at keeping secrets and not peeking at Christmas presents, but I love to be surprised. and this is one thing I can't just peek at. I have to wait and see what will happen.

so yup, here I am. majoring in Economics and Business, working in Human Resources, living with my boyfriend of almost five months and my puppy of almost a year, trying to figure out what kind of girl I'm going to be :) right now I'm just barely hanging on to the tail of life.. it's gotten to be crazy so I'm following it wherever it takes me. stay tuned for updates!