very cool.

can't stop listening/watching. I love creativity

long time, no blog

working 50-55 hours a week can be slightly overwhelming. I know some people work way more than that but sheesh! I feel like I am always going, going, going.

a few random things:
this one time my mom emailed me while I was in Senegal... it was a response to my story about going to Ngor with my host brother and his friends, a trip that could have been a disaster but luckily was great. she said something to the effect of be careful, but the phrase that stuck out to me was, "don't let four months ruin decades of your life." I've been thinking a lot about that this morning. it's been almost two years since I got back from Senegal and I still think about the things that happened there every day. I have made some big life decisions that I think were partially based on my African experiences. I don't think my life has been ruined by what happened, but I think it could be if I let it. I am going through some challenging times right now with school and financials, and sometimes I just feel like there's no way I'm going to figure it out. howwwwever, we all know that I am extremely stubborn AND (trying to be extremely) determined, so I am not going to "let" anything be. I will make the decisions and changes... assertiveness is key. but it's weird how emotional the Senegal experience makes me. sometimes I am really sad, other times I am so angry, lots of times I am upset with myself and think it's my fauly I ended up here. I came home and (as Mom and Dad warned me), I think that was a mistake. I think the things that happened there were terrible and yes, they have affected me a whole lot, but I think that what hurts me the most is that I feel like I gave up.

hmm. I was going to post more about prepping for the holiday season, the process of securing student loans, life in the corporate world, Molly shenanigans... but I think that blurb up there is about enough for now. time for a shower and work.

gagaaa

I absolutely hated this video the first time I watched it, but after the third or fourth viewing, I now think it's fascinating. reminds me so much of Madonna... it's a good one-

exhausted

training will take the life out of you! I am already ready for bed and it's 8pm... ridic. I just got back from Patty's aunt's house- their golden retriever Lizzie had her puppies today! oh, my goodness, they were SO cute. small and squeaky and rollie pollie ollie :) it was cool to see what they were like immediately after birth (seriously, one had been born minutes before I got there) and I can't wait to come back in a couple weeks to see how they've grown. Patts' aunt and uncle were like proud lil parents... adorable. I love puppies!!

tomorrow is the last day of training and then I head back to the Springs. I am ready to get back to my own puppy, miss Molly, and back to my own bed. I am also super excited to finalize everything for school and to throw myself back into work... lots of good things ahead. next week we have early Thanksgiving at my parents' house and I can't wait for that either!

nighty night ;)

Denver time!

ahh, I love this city! work sent me here for a few days to take some training classes and I am already making the most of it! my momma and I met in Cherry Creek this morning to do some "business attire" shopping :) I have a few things but really needed to get a few more quality basics. we shopped til we dropped! I found some great charcoal gray pants, a classic black blazer, a super cute tan blazer (from Urban Outfitters!), and a simple black button down. I would love a few more button downs--they are my favorite and I have a bunch already--and I need some good shoes, but overall we did good :) we also went out the lunch and grabbed some coffee... it was great, as always, to see my momma and I can't wait for next week. we are having an early family Thanksgiving and I can't wait to go home!

I came to my hotel after shopping and got all checked in, watched some of the Giants/Chargers game, and ironed my clothes for tomorrow. then I headed to Patty's aunt's house and we had a mini girls night over there. her aunt Poppy was amazing and got us some Chinese food from Little Ollie's... YUM. we drank a little wine and talked and watched tv... very relaxing and SO good to see her. we are planning on having date nights for the rest of my time in Denver :)

now I'm back at the hotel and all ready for bed. it's early but I am looking forward to snuggling in and being ready to go for tomorrow! I'm kind of nervous to meet all the people but it should be good... it's all going to pay off later, I just have to remember that. (ps I have the Cowboys game on and Tony Romo will never be unattractive!)

GORGEOUS.

please check this outfit out. love Ann Taylor and AT Loft. Momma and I are going shopping on Sunday for business attire for my start at Enterprise... I'm inventorying my closet and looking at outfit ideas. this would probably not be the best work outfit, but it's still verrry cute.

go see it here

ridic

I LOVE this song by Jesse McCartney and T Pain. my favorite part is the "parlez-vous francais?" fantastic!

guess who I met (and flirted with!) today?

Desmond Howard! yep, Heisman Trophy winner, Superbowl MVP, former player for the Raiders/Jags/Lions/Redskins/Packers (ugh.)... All of the guys from ESPN's College Gameday came in for the Army versus Air Force game on Saturday, and they all rented cars from me this morning. The other commentators--Kirk Herbstreit, Chris Fowler--were super chill and Desmond was preeeetty hot :) all the boys at work were SO excited he was coming. when he first came to the counter, it was my boss, the girl I'm training, and myself. like everyone who comes to the counter, we ask for their last name on the reservation and then their driver's license. when he said his last name was Howard, it was silent for about 30 seconds! finally I just spoke up and said, "so... you're here for the big game, huh?" and he was like, "that's right!" then I let the beans spill about how we've been watching for him all day :)

woohoo for football!

go baby go!

this may be overkill..

since it is my fourth? post of the day, but I couldn't resist. Ellen is one of my favorite people in the whole world-

obsessed.

so, we all know that I am obsessed with weddings. I love them and everything about them--especially the planning! I was reading a newlywed's blog and found this company, Still Motion, which is actually just a team of wedding videographers. I've always thought I would just want a photographer at my wedding (that is going to be my number one expense, trust), but after seeing what a videographer can go... good Lord! these are AMAZING videos and I highly recommend checking them out when you have a few minutes. weddings have turned into these huge events, and some people may be cynical about the amount of money/time/effort spent on them, but after watching these videos, I dare you not to get emotional. I think you could have the most simple, elegant wedding celebration and have this kind of video to watch during bad times and stressful times and good times... it would remind you of why you made the vows. love it.

www.stillmotionblog.com

for some reason

I LOVE this song. reminds me of all of Ry's underground hip hop bands. feel good music :)




finishing up my work then outside for a hike with Molls! it is approx GORGEOUS degrees outside!!

Halloweenie!

Last night, I decided to partake in a little Halloween activity since I normally steer clear of scary movies, haunted houses, etc. Ryan and I went to dinner with Heather and JD (at Chili's, yummy, my favorite) and then headed to a showing of Paranormal Activity. For some reason, I have been DYING to see this movie and I couldn't even tell you why! I hate scary movies, especially the kind that could be real, the kind that aren't blood and guts and gore, but are more psychological. I saw The Sixth Sense when it came out and I slept in my parents' room... for a week... with the light on. It was terrifying! I mean, how do you know that there aren't spirits walking around that you can't see? When Molly stares at the corner of the ceiling, how do I KNOW there isn't something up there that only she can see?!

So, we went. And I spent a large majority of the time with my eyes covered and my ears plugged. Heather and I demanded that we sit next to each other so we could hold hands/tell each other how "fake" each scene had to be. My favorite part of her company was her saying, "No. NO. NOOOO," during all the scary parts. Ryan sat on the other side of me and tried to tug my hands away from my face... No dice, buddy. Overall, the movie was good and I think they did a fantastic job going back to the basics of scaring people. I would have been more unable to sleep if one, the movie hadn't ended the way it did or two, I hadn't read every bit about how it was made online before I left. :) the little things are what made the movie really frightening and I think it was cool that they made the movie on only $12k or something like that.

Saturday is Dana's Halloween party and she absolutely requires everyone to have a costume--great, but hard to figure out what I'm going to be! I tried super hard to convince Ryan that we should go as Captain Hook and Peter Pan... me as CH, of course, and him as Petey. He is NOT so excited about that idea. We were hoping to do a couple-y thing (last year, Dana and her husband were Fiona and Shrek, haha!) but who knows. Any ideas?

it's his birthday

and he can cry if he wants toooo... ;) happy birthday to Ryan today! poor thing has to work one of the busiest days we've had in a while on his day, but he's a trooper. yay birthdays!

last night we had our little celebration since he will probably have to work late tonight and then I have to be up at 4:30 tomorrow, yuck! I made baked barbeque chicken, one of his favorites, and put up a few decorations around the family room for when he got home. his favorite colors are red and black so I found black streamers and red balloons... he loved it! my momma used to always decorate the kitchen the night before my birthday so I would wake up and have a little something special ;) instead of a cake, he wanted lots of Rice Krispie treats, so I made a big batch of those and crammed candles in them so I could sing and he could have his wish. then we watched The Proposal (with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds)... I was expecting it to be not at all funny and it was HILARIOUS! Ryan Reynolds was soo funny, and Sandra Bullock perfected the uptight awkwardness of her character. I was crackin up.

this morning I did another Nelson family tradition- I left him a card by the bathroon sink on his side to start off his day. he called me at work and said it made him so happy :) an easy, nice touch! tonight we're just going to chill out with a few friends... next Friday we'll finish off his celebration by going to a concert by one of his favorite bands. he always loves the underground artists, so we get to see them in really intimate and personal venues (and the tickets are cheap!). it should be a fun birthday/pre-Halloween night.

today is a gorgeous fall day, so I'm headed outside to take a long walk with Molly. happy Friday!

JM, I will always love you

after Ryan saw him on Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, he gave me full permission to marry him :)




I love this video.

my dream

is to have Michael Buble sing at my wedding. his new cd - incredible! his big band style is EXACTLY what I want for my wedding. and umm, please, "crazy love" has got to be one of the sweetest songs ever.



I have a meeting at CC at 2... otherwise, I am working on school stuff today, going to the grocery store to get stuff for my buffalo chicken subs (Ry's family has requested them for dinner :)), doing laundry, and taking pics of my apt that I will post this afternoon! M&D have been asking to see them for a while.

4 days!

I never thought I'd be so excited to go back to STC for a weekend, but I AM! my momma and I are leaving from Denver on Fri night and I'll be in my hometown until Monday morning. I get to see my grandma, my absolute fav aunt, my brosky, Daniel, Justin, hopefully Tay, Nicholas, Ashton... ahh! it's been soo long since I've seen people and I can't wait.

I also plan on doing a drive-by of my old house. I'm kind of nervous to see how it looks... I definitely love my parents' place up in Estes but it'll be hard to see the place where I spent the first 18 years of my life. so many memories in the house, yard, pool, driveway... I think I might cry just a little bit ;)

today and tomorrow I have SO freaking much to do to get ready for school. I am doing a thesis petition and meeting with financial aid to make sure everything will be ready to go in November, and oh by the way, I have to make sure I can get my identity back!! someone stole my debit card number and ran up a bunch of fradulent charges in Florida. how scary is that?! now I pretty much have to keep an eagle eye on my SS number for the rest of my life to make sure no one is taking over my life! I know everyone wants to be me but... :) juuust kidding.

back to workin on my to-do list. the cat is currently snoring away alongside me. maybe I will join her for a liiiittle nap..

it is SNOWING already

while I already miss the Colorado summer weather, I can't wait to play in the snow with this one-

she's excited too. today she was trying to eat snow flurries out of the air.

I am soo looking forward to a hot shower and bed. work at 6 tomorrow, ugh.

operation: spice things up!

I've decided my page needs a little work to make it prettier... bland was okay at the beginning but now I need COLOR!

Wednesday is my Monday and it's always a pain in the butt to go back to work. today my left eye was twitching and I have a crick in my neck- double yuck. but all things considered, Wednesdays never end up being as bad as I imagine they'll be. plus I still think that Friday is my Friday, so Saturdays and Sundays at work are cake.

also, I found out that I basically need to petition a special schedule change so that I can write my thesis with my advisor. I think I can convince the Econ dept to let me do it, but it's just taking a lot of work to pull an official "plea" together... and it's making me do a lot of hard thinking about my exact, specific plans for the next few months. oh, college. you are so troublesome but totally worth it (I've heard ;)).

bedtime and tomorrow when I wake up, my neck crick will be gone and my new tires will be in and I will have won the lottery. :) xx

MORE PICS

here are the aforementioned photos from Jesa's wedding:

firstly, I must say I did a bangup job of wrapping her gifts. I even matched her color theme!

I know when my dad gives me away, I am going to cry like nobody's business

vowing!

waiting for din din

everyone said we were next... I said ohh no, no, no and then Ryan got mad, hahaha

first dance. awww

PICS

finally, I have uploaded some pictures from the past month. the first set is our last camping trip of the summer:

Paul and Kevin started us on the dance party

Kevin kept the dancing going when everyone else was content to chat

this is when the Michael Jackson phase occurred... epic.

I love this one of Ry and his uncle

then Kev and I had our bonding moment..

chopping some wood the next day.. I was SORE after that

look really closely and you can see that Molly sat a bit too close to the fire and singed her whiskers, haha!

coming soon- pics from Jesa's wedding. I blew a tire yesterday while running errands and I'm now on my way to see if it can be fixed by Friday. and why yes, I am going to a shop called "Rimz To Go." I'm super excited ;)

me = wedding obsessed

I don't know what it is about weddings that gets me, but I LOVE them. I love reading blogs about planning them, seeing pictures from them, hearing about different color themes and guest favors and ceremony programs and special photographers... AH! it's so funny because everyone thinks I'm going to get married soon (and rightfully so, I am constantly talking about cool weddings), but in actuality I don't plan on getting married for at least another five to six years. I am waaaay too young and immature at this point.. but that doesn't mean that I can't still love weddings and think about my own!

my latest favorite idea is the idea of a "secret session." I found this girl's blog... she just got married and on the day of her bridal portraits, she actually did a secret session with the photographer where she took pics in lingerie and certain wedding accessories (veil, shoes, etc). they are SO tasteful, not at all trashy, and the photographer put them in a little black book as a gift for her now-husband. how cool is that?! I saw a few example photos and they're just beautiful. they look very artsy and classy, and I could just see the book being the coolest thing to look back on after a few (or many!) years of marriage.

links later today that'll show some examples... I'm off to deliver homemade birthday cupcakes to a girl at work. then lots of to-dos.. I made a two page list of them last night!

don't drive like a turkey!

today at work we were relatively slow, so I started telling Xuhey about how our boss used to play games when he was a rental agent for Enterprise. I suggested the game where you pick a random word from a jar and you have to use it at some point in the rental (I think this is a real game, Buzzword maybe??).. I thought of a bunch of words, wrote them on slips of paper, and put them in our suggestion can. Xuhey started by picking 'orange' and seriously told the customer, "Orange you glad you're getting a free upgrade?" I could not even contain myself.

next I picked 'pickle.' my customer was a government rental who elected to take a GPS, and when I confirmed with him that he still wanted the GPS, I said, "good call, those things can sure get you out of a pickle!" he looked at me and started laughing while I turned bright red.

then Xuhey pulled 'turkey.' I figured she'd talked about hunting season since it's about to start in CO, or about how Thanksgiving is coming fast, but no. she put her customer in a white Chevy Impala and told him, "don't drive like a turkey! otherwise people will think you're a cop!" and customer all but ran away with his keys. every five seconds after that, I would crack up remembering how warned a customer against being a turkey. bahahaha.

in other, somewhat related, news- I am creating a badass career path with my boss. more on that later. I am so excited for the next couple of years.

I almost forgot about FML..

thank God I did not-

"Today while cleaning up I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML"

some thoughts-

I have a driving headache right now and it's making my eyes water. ouch.
last night I lost my phone in the recesses of the squishy black leather that is our couch. the cushions don't pull out or anything so currently I am just telling people I can't find it.
having only one day off per week is hard. I have so much stuff outside work that needs to get done... one day isn't enough to do it all AND rest.
I bought some flowers from the grocery store last week and they are in full bloom right now. my mommy gave me her love of irises :)
I finally found my camera after a long period of it being "lost" inside my bag. pretty much I was convinced that someone stole it, but in actuality I had been carrying it with me every single day and didn't know it. as soon as I get the time, I will upload some good pics and video from the past couple of weeks (camping, Jesa's wedding, Molly, etc.)

time to go shower and then figure out what's for dinner. I made an awesome London Broil last night- marinated it in Italian dressing, pepper, garlic salt, and worchestshire (sp?) sauce, yummo. tonight I am less ambitious :)

vacacion!

would you believe that I actually log on to blogger multiple times a day? yep, I read what everyone else is writing but slack off on submitting my own stories. time to change that bad habit!

I am on v-a-c-a-tionnnn for the next five days. :) nothing too exciting going on- today I'm getting my apartment (and fridge/pantry!) in order, tomorrow and Monday we're CAMPING, Tues and Wed are all about prepping for back to school. I'm just looking forward to organizing and relaxing... lately I've been feeling like maybe I'm one step behind and everything isn't quite in place. I hate not having laundry done and folded and hung up, dishes in the sink, car not cleaned out, library books not returned, etc. so these next few days will be catch up time.

(I finally downloaded Taylor Swift's cd last night and I looove it. right now I'm listening to Breathe [Colbie Caillat features]... amazing.)

life otherwise is fine, boring almost. Molly is huge, a solid 75 pounds of muscle and very little fat (how, I do not know) and she's terrorizing the apartment complex like always. people always say, "oh, what a beautiful golden" and then they get close and Molly starts lunging at them, desperately wanting to be petted, and then they don't think she's that cute anymore. I'm excited to take her camping and run her to the ground... seriously, it takes hours of playing catch before she's even the least bit tired.

and I'll be back to school during the last week of November. I'm excited to be done. more about that later... I am still prepping my mind and my finances.

speaking of finances, I went on WellsFargo.com yesterday at Patty's suggestion and customized my debit card with a pic of Molly's face. I also customized my credit card with a pic of Senegal-- granted, I don't even use my credit card anymore, I have a hold on it so I don't use it, but it was free to customize! so I did. :)

off to do all my errands and jobs today. I'll update with camping stories on Mon or Tues. and pics too! I finally found my camera ;)

more lasagna.. and 22

it has been forever since I've written. I got caught up in working approx 70 trillion hours a week.. then our lease was up and finding a new place/moving/packing/still unpacking has been a big process as well. now I'm back to normal 40hour work weeks and a new apartment that's slowly becoming home. oh, and I'm a new age! the big 22nd birthday came and went last week. spent a couple of days with my parents and a rented Wrangler. we ate homemade lasagna and cake for my dinner (I declined eat out, I'm still a college kid in the sense that Mom's cooking is my craving) after taking a dusty drive up to the Alpine Center on Trail Ridge Road. I spent the actual bday in the Springs cleaning and doing laundry- that made me feel oldest of all. welcome to the real world, ha!

the new apartment is in a super nice complex, complete with pool, spa, and waterfall. Molly loves the huge open field right down the street- she wakes me up at exactly 6:00 every morning with the tennis ball in her mouth. I stay half asleep as I throw it for ten minutes, and then force her back to bed with me :) today we went to the dog park to get some of her energy out.. she, as always, decided it was necessary to steal every other dog's tennis ball. the dogs' owners would have been upset except they couldn't stop laughing at my crackhead who managed to cram three tennis balls into her mouth. goof.

summer has been HOT and I can't say I'm not looking forward to fall. I'll be back to school in November but until then, it's work work work and maybe a few camping trips thrown in there. tomorrow I have big plans to pretend I don't have adult things to do and instead drive into the mountains to take Molls swimming. I stand firmly on the idea that most people don't have to be as responsible when they live in CO. too much fun stuff to do :)

time to shower and head out.. I'll be picking up Ry from work, figuring out what dinner might be, and then heading to a friend's front porch for a few beers. cross my fingers, it won't be months before I write again.

LASAGNA

my mom reminded me tonight that I haven't seen her since Christmas... I was home in early March but my mom was in Chicago so I only visited with my dad. weird. sometimes growing up can suck- when I was younger, the longest I went without seeing my mom was one or two nights.

but here I am now, sitting on my parents' couch watching Seinfeld and having a beer with my dad. Mom made incredible lasagna for dinner and we took a long walk with the dogs.. tomorrow we'll hike and maybe play raquetball. I love days off, and I love being home. my goal is to come home once a month from now on. it just feels right.

and my parents are hilarious! my mom is ragging on my dad for "sneaking" ice cream. he will go have a yogurt before bed and then come back with another full yogurt container.. little did she know that he was actually filling the empty container up with ice cream! so funny. I love my parents.

love, love, love. as long as we're on that note, I love the mountains and Estes Park. and Colorado. I live in the best place in the world.

I may take a break..

but Molly does not. she is still being a crackhead. today I came home to find shredded cardboard all over the living room. she smelled the container Ry's french fries were in last night, dug it out of the trash, and shredded it into tiny little pieces. I don't even know how I saw the cardboard because she was jumping all over me, so excited that I was home. in her mouth was a rock (per usual) and when I looked closer, I realized that her teeth were black. BLACK. I looked around the room and noticed something long, skinny, and chewed in the corner. yep, Molly chewed a marker pen and now she has black teeth. sigh.

Ry is taking me out tomorrow night for our 9month. so funny- Monica and I were talking today about how the first few months, every 17th we would be like happy anniversary (!!) and now we're like oh yeah, another month. we are already old people :)

FROZEN CAMPING

it has been so gorgeous in the Springs this week, and the boys have decided they're kidnapping me and we're going camping on Friday night. I continue to state that it's going to be freezing up in the mountains at night, but they say who cares, we're building a fire, let's go. this post is to say my goodbyes if I turn into an ice cube and never return.

ps- I cant wait for my paychecks to start arriving. Lord almighty, I have bills to pay.

life has been busy

(comparatively)

well, I got a job, which has been a major stress load off of my back. I started last week and have been working 8-4 this week.. everyone thinks I am going to hate it pretty soon but so far, I am just happy to be putting my energy toward something. I would make a horrible stay-at-home mom-- I do a good job cleaning and cooking and all that, but I get crazy by approx 1pm. having a job makes me feel like there is purpose for the day.

now I'm car shopping, which is almost more painful than job hunting. I've found a number of vehicles I thought I liked but in person there were problems. then I've found perfect vehicles that are too expensive or worse, someone has snatched up right before me. that's where I'm at now-- the Wrangler isn't perfect but it's fairly close to what I want and literally 20 min before I got to the dealership today, someone else put an offer down. sigh. hopefully the right car/Jeep will come around soon. :)

I am so lame

my life is uninteresting and therefore I have nothing to say.. except that it is about to snow AGAIN here and I am extremely unhappy. where is summer, damnit?!!

the beauty of Colorado

is that we can have a raging blizzard all day and night... and the next day, the roads are only wet because the freakin sun just melts everything in hours! love it. I was boxed into the house for nearly 24 hours there (since the PT Cruiser is not the most compatible with snow/ice) and almost went crazy. now it is sunny and going to warm up even more this weekend. woohoo! I am ready for spring.

in other, completely superficial news, I have been trying out a pointer finger ring. I have always been a ring person and usually I wear three- one on my left middle finger, one on my right ring finger, and one on my right thumb. lately, though, I've been trying the left ring finger and the right pointer finger (this is mesmerizing and fascinating, I know). can't decide if I like it.. first I wore the thumb ring but that was too big, and now I'm on my Africa ring, which I like more even though it's a little tight. we'll see. there's something about wearing rings that makes me feel more complete, and sometimes a little more elegant. when I don't wear them, I feel a little lost. I even wrote this story once about a time in Africa when my thumb ring fell off right at the water's edge on the beach. it wasn't the ring I had the longest or the most expensive one, but it was my touchstone, the one I couldn't imagine NOT wearing. ..although I think that story had less to do with the ring and more to do with, well, other stuff. hmm.

summer, please.

big snowstorm headed in... in fact, I see flurries starting to fall outside the window. apparently up in Woodland Park (just 30 min up the pass into the mountains), they had two inches in fifteen minutes. umm. hello, I will be locked in the house since the PT is a deathtrap in the snow.

other news- I am pretty sure I am the queen of making mistakes and screwing up my life. awesome.

I caved!

damn twitter

still.

I can't get over what happened to Whitney Hendrickson (the girl who died in the freak accident yesterday). since I'm part of the Co Spgs Facebook network, I can see her page and it is so sad. she was so beautiful... and to think, witnesses reported her screams and pleas for help as she was trapped in the flames. God.

Momma told you so

Molly just never ceases to make me laugh- she is the most ridiculous dog in the world and yesterday I almost crashed the car, I was cracking up so badly.

I picked Ry up from work and brought Molls for the ride. Ry always finds stuff that people leave in the rental cars and usually it's annoying little trinkets that he leaves around the house and then I yell at him.. but sometimes it's something fun that we could use (e.g. the car phone charger that fit my cell!). yesterday he found a simple tennis ball- great because Molly tends to lose hers or chew them up in a matter of minutes. he gave it to her while we were driving home, and since the back windows were down, I kept saying, "you better watch out, I know she'll stick her head out the window and drop it." she looked at me like she understood.. and then wagged her little tail and nevertheless stuck her head out the window. We were about five min into the drive when I looked in the side view mirror at the perfect moment- the ball slipped out of Molly's mouth and bounced down the middle of the road. I heard it hit the ground and then it was gone. Molly could not even believe that happened, and she wouldn't stop staring back at the place where she dropped it. we turned the corner, and she was still riding backwards with her head out the window, in disbelief that her new prize was gone. I about died laughing and so did Ryan.. then he scratched her ears and said, "well, Mom told you!"

so sad.

latest story in the Springs- yesterday there was a total freak accident on the west side of town (actually right across the street from where Ryan and I were at the time). a woman lost control of her car and went careening into a truck at one of the gas pumps at a 7-11. the truck hit the gas pump, sprayed everything with gas, and then it all went up in flames. an 18 year old girl was filling her car up with gas at a different pump and got trapped between her car and the station. she died.

how crazy is that? totally out of nowhere. she was home from Grinnell for SB and her friend was with her.. the friend tried to push the car out of the way so the girl could escape but the flames were too intense. everyone could only stand there and watch as she burned alive.

the craziest thing is that she's the daughter of my prof here at CC. he was my advisor for the first two years of school (until I switched majors). it just blows me away how ridiculous that accident was. you're standing there, filling up your car with gas, and then you're gone.

life is so fleeting. I used to try to control every little thing that happened to me, and only lately have I thrown up my hands and decided to go along with the ride. I need to keep working on enjoying every moment because really, nothing is ever as bad as it seems. I am so damn lucky.

(news article about the accident here)

the fashion world is cut throat, honey

Today, there was a story called "Looking Good" about fashion in school that ran in the local newspaper. On the front page of that section it featured a picture of my class. I was photoshopped out. FML

so. sore.

yesterday was another gorgeous day in CO- the temps have been in at least the 60s all week, and yesterday we broke some records by hitting the high 70s! unfortunately, since the state is so dry and we're having such gusty winds, there are a couple of wildfires out east... fingers crossed that the one on Ft Carson will be 100% contained soon!

in honor of the weather, Molls and I went for a trail run yesterday afternoon. there are a bunch of trails just west of CC (back by where Ry's parents live) and it's a perfect place to let Molly off the leash and just go. I haven't been running in a loooong time but the minute I put on my iPod and started finding my pace, I was so happy. I've missed it! we ran all over the park area- Molly got to swim in the creek, I got covered in mud when I tried to jump said-creek, we took hills and fields and boulders... it was a good run. near the end, though, poor Molls must have stepped on a cactus because she just stopped cold in the middle of the trail. I had to sit and pick out every single little sticker from her front paw :( it took almost all of my remaining energy (I am unbelievably out of shape) to hold her squirmy body down- she now weighs 70lbs. but once we got those pokey things out, she was ready to rock and roll.

today, we are both dead. it takes a lot to wear Molly out but that run, combined with a long walk afterward with Ry's mom, made her so pooped. I myself had trouble getting out of bed this morning- I am SORE. that'll teach me to start running without stretching both before and after... it feels good to be back though :)

I'm slightly embarassed to post this

this song has probably been out for a while, but I LOVE "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus. seriously, how have I not heard this before? and how can I honestly enjoy something by Miley Cyrus? like I said, embarassing, but this song is so good :) some lyrics below...

I can almost see it
that dream I'm dreamin
but there's a voice inside my head sayin
you'll never reach it
every step I'm taking
every move I make feels
lost with no direction
my faith is shakin
but I, I gotta keep trying
gotta keep my head held high

there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna want to make it move
always gonna be an uphill battle
sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
ain't about how fast I get there
ain't about what's waitin on the other side
it's the climb

old lady!

happiest of birthdays to my beautiful Momma! I wont post her age but just know that she looks decades younger than she is :)



an old pic of the fam hiking in Estes Park.. where else. here's to the wonderful home you created Momma. love you!

Sheldon is my fav

Ry's parents got me started on The Big Bang Theory (Mondays on CBS) and now Ry and I go over to their house for dinner and a show every week :)

here's an older clip-

no mas!

seriously, is it time for me to graduate yet? every time I sit down to do work my whole body language changes... slumping and sad face and furrowed eyebrows. I'm keepin on keepin on, but it's hard.

on a related note, finding a job is going to suck. I'm ready for grad but I also want the security of a solid job when I'm done. yeah.right.

just a bundle of joy right now, that's me. somebody find me some chocolate!

seriously?!

I cannot believe Rihanna is even within a 2 mile radius of Chris Brown at this point. umm. he BEAT YOU in the FACE. what more does he need to do?!!

the worst part about it is that all these little girls who are like "oo Rihanna is cool" and who are beat by their boyfriends are now going to say "well he deserves a second chance like CB got." way to encourage tolerance of domestic violence, RiRi, way to go.

(check out here and here)

gorgeous!

it is beautiful outside! I am crabby because I want to just be done with school (seriously, I am staying motivated but I hate every second of it) but going outside makes me feel better. I am going to kick butt on my exam this afternoon so I can squeeze in a hike with Molly!

(weather report from here)

I am in such a romantic mood

first the weddings, now this incredibly sweet song. here are a few of my favorite lyrics from Today by Joshua Radin-

shoelaces untied
you can dry your eyes
perfect shadows alive
behind us
this is the day I make you mine

but you are the one
I've been waiting for today
and here comes the sun
it's been baiting on today

you looked right through me
when there was no one else
I sat beside you and became myself

LOVE that last line. sigh. now back to the totally unromantic subject of international finance... Sundays make me bummed.

ps- just as I was about to press "publish," I Wish by Stevie Wonder came on. what a way to make this homework sesh better!

home sweet home

every time I come to my parents house, I wish I never had to leave. it's so quiet and peaceful up here... a good change from the craziness of my little Co Spgs home.

also every time I come home, I am surprised by the new changes/additions my parents have done to the house. this time it was just a few touches to the great room- a black & white picture area, and the "welcoming" spot by the front door. M&D made this area of three simple black shelves and covered them with black & white pics in simple black frames. there are pics of M&D when they were younger, Graham and I when we were little, our latest family photo, old extended family pics, Estes Park/mtn pics... I love it. it adds such a personal touch to the room and I actually had been thinking of doing something the same to my own place. the other newish part of the house was that welcoming spot- it's a glass table by the front door with old books and antiques on top. my parents bought this sweet old map of Estes Park and hung it over the table- soo cool. when people walk in the door, they get this historical yet contemporary feel, and the room is elegant but still homey and comfortable.

what I have learned from this visit: my mother will be decorating my first house :)

I am the queen of dreams

I posted a while back about my crazy dreams--I dream a lot and usually they are somewhat sketchy, as in I dreamt about people dying for like two weeks straight. awk. but lately my dreams have been all about weddings, and more specifically, my wedding. two nights I had the exact same dream. it was just going through my wedding and I wore the same dress, the same stuff happened.. it was like watching the same movie back to back.

last night I had another dream about my wedding, but this time it was my mom, my dad, and me getting ready for everything to start. we were at home in STC at our old house and I guess that's where everything was going to take place. it's funny because I've always wanted a wedding at home, and my current plans are to have the ceremony at this amazing site above Estes Park, and then have the reception at our new house (with a big white silk tent set up in the backyard... I could def go on and on). but yeah, so we were back at the old house and I was getting ready before everyone arrived. apparently I didn't have any bridesmaids and I have no idea where my groom was (it's been Ry in the past few dreams.. eek!). my mom and dad were helping the caterers and everyone set up downstairs, and I was putting on like eight different layers of my dress. my mom had to help me because at one point, the entire bottom part of the dress was see-through. that definitely sounds like something that could happen on my real wedding day. after I was pretty much all ready--I still had to do my hair, I guess I decided I was going to do my own makeup/hair that day--I went downstairs to find out that the first guest was arriving. it had just gotten dark outside and it was a little rainy, and everyone who came was going to park in our backyard around the pool. (this reminded me of the scene from my all-time favorite movie, Father of the Bride, when they have to park all the cars in the front yard.) I was so concerned because my dad's gorgeous yard was going to get ruined. I mean, it was rainy, a bunch of cars were going to be driving around on the grass... I was concerned! and my dad just kind of shrugged his shoulders and was like, "it's for you, it's okay." :(

it's a good thing I made plans to go visit my pops this weekend because now I miss him. I am such a daddy's girl- my dad's always been one of my best friends and we are super close... I am excited to go see him while Momma is back home in Chicago for a few days :)

peanut, hazlenut, cashew nut...

I made Ry watch Best in Show with me last night- so funny. we've been all about renting the older, 99 cent movies from Blockbuster these days :) and I am happy to report that we also picked out D3 Mighty Ducks!

here's a clip from BIS.. love it.

Princess Molly

happy hump day

so true and I love it-




I Love College - Asher Roth (I want to be his bff)

summertiiiime, and the living's easy

I am so ready for summer. the thought of grilling burgers outside, drinking a beer after work on the porch, strawberries on sale at the grocery store... ah I want that right now. the sun has been shining a lot here in CO this winter but I'm greedy- I want warmth and flowers and summer in the mountains. I'm ready to go camping on weekends and hikes before school without freezing my ass off. I want everyone to leave campus and I'll feel again like I own it, it's my school, no one else gets to see how amazing it is in June and July. I want windows open and fresh air and sunroof never being closed and FLIP FLOPS! I busted out my fav pairs of shorts yesterday and the day before... I was being slightly optimistic because it was about 50-some degrees out but still. I want summer!

also- I happened to stumble upon The Bachelor the other night. I put the TV on while I'm studying although there's no point, I'm always listening to my iPod anyway, but I like to have something going on. The Bachelor was on and I could not even believe the steamy little hot tub scene they had- yowza! what about all those kiddos who might have been watching ABC at the same time? dang. and I can't decide who I would want to win if I had been following the show. I read some spoilers today at work (seriously, when I sit up front I do very little else but stalk celeb gossip sites) and apparently the finale and "after rose ceremonies," yes there will be more than one, are ridic. oh reality TV.

ps! happy birthday to Molly, she's one year old today! Ry splurged using his tax refund money and got her a huge fluffy pillow bed. I say it was more of a gift to himself because now she doesn't take up his half of the bed :)

half a year

happy six month to me and Ry.. seems like six years, ha!

(notice Ry's Uncle Gene being a creep in the back...)

lack of things to say = fmylife.com

"Today, my boyfriend of four months broke up with me via text message. He spelled my name wrong. FML"

cool things that have happened to me recently-
the fence broke in the backyard and I happened to let both dogs out without knowing this tidbit... Molly took her chance at freedom.
I chickened out on taking a class because the prof is severely discussion-driven and that was def not for me.
I made big plans to start cutting the carbs on Monday and I proceeded to eat a chocolate doughnut for lunch.
my new favorite song is by the Kottonmouth Kings. that is almost too ridiculous to even post.
I dream about Africa every night.

oh, and new class has an insane amount of work- exams every Friday, papers due every Wed, problem sets every other day, massive final paper/presentation with a group (when will professors ever learn that group projects are horrible???). FML

my kind of V day!

HAHA

"Today, I took my friend to buy a pregancy test. She took it and it came out negative. I decided to re-pee on it to be funny...it turned to positive. FML"

fmylife.com

oh Snoop

k so Snoop creeps me out more than any other celebrity possible, but I do have to commend him for this LOVELY photo. way to bump up your gangsta status.




"I don't know what's more damaging to Snoop Dogg's career: These photos of him with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt for his new show Dogg After Dark. Or finding out he's secretly a white plantation owner with slaves.
I'm gonna have to go with the photos."

-photo and caption courtesy of this guy, as always

always a mathematician

here's a receipt from a night out at Tony's a while back-




242 (or is it 272?) cents. further evidence that I was really smart that night- one of the hockey boys had to give me a ride home because I had been sitting on the curb for about thirty min. winner!

to make myself feel better..

yes, I will watch youtube videos at work. I spent maybe fifteen min yesterday watching videos of golden retriever puppies (as if Molly isn't enough). today I found this-



and I'm going to teach Bacca. she can already sing so it can't be too hard, right?

another one I love

go here to listen. found it while watching Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist... good movie. I love Michael Cera and am contemplating renting Juno for the millionth time tonight.

woohoo block break! no class til Monday.

Kate is going to Tanzania/Madagascar on Friday and I am jealous. I miss Africa. and am apprehensive for her.. love you, please keep me updated.

I cant help it

I just love John Mayer. lots of people tend to think he's a douche but I would most def seriously entertain the idea of marrying him. today. and I think Jennifer Aniston is rockin it with him after her whole Brad Pitt/Vince Vaughn adventure.

and of course, I love Ellen. I try to watch her every day after work- yes, I realize this makes me a 40-something year old housewife. I will embrace that. here's a clip from yesterday's show (note to John: you can serenade me any damn time you want).

TAKE ME THERE

a-rog just came back from Tahiti (among other French Polynesian islands) and posted a few pics on Fbook. umm. I am currently booking my one-way ticket.

celebs are crazy

can anyone believe this about Chris Brown?? what a crazy. apparently he beat Rihanna and then threatened to kill her. umm. firstly, I have a mad hatred for men who beat their girlfriends/wives/whatever. it is the most cowardly and disgusting thing a person can do- domestic violence is a button for me, I get super emotional and upset about it. secondly, if you are a freakin' world icon, you should NOT be pulling shit like this. duh- you're going to get caught and people are going to hate you and there goes pretty much your entire life. your career is down the toilet and all your money will be spent on a lawyer who will try to save your ass from being gang raped in prison. but serves you right for hitting your girlfriend!

so yeah, word on the street is that he's looking at nine years. suck on that, bitch. and I guess there was no weapon used, so basically he used his fists to beat the crap out of Rihanna. what a man.

(pics and news from, where else, but here)

ps- I did hear today on the radio that Rihanna is a huge bitch. some morning show lady said that every time she'd ever been close to Rihanna (sometimes even meeting her), Rihanna has been a major diva. doesn't mean she deserves to be assaulted and I'm fairly certain Chris Brown didn't punch her because she has an attitude problem... aaand I can't say that I wouldn't be a queen if I became famous. ha.

it's a blustery day, Christopher Robin

I feel like I'm in Chicago again! the wind nearly blew me away on the way to class. (ps- I give a presentation in class today, you would think I'd be reviewing my notes... nope.) poor Ry has to work outside and he's working the day shift today- screw that! he's going to come home with windburn.

Molly's newest thing is playing fetch with rocks. she will bring in dozens of rocks from the backyard and hide them all over the house. then, when she loses her Kong or her ball or her bone, she'll dig out one of these rocks and drop it on the floor (you can imagine what that has done to our damage deposit...). the best part is that she can't pick it up normally- she has to go in from an angle, which means she lays the side of her head flat on the ground and feels around with her teeth/tongue for the rock. hilarious.

Ry and I played Scrabble last night. it was my first time and I officially suck. the first game I made Ry call a "practice match" and the second, I ended up cheating so he refused to play with me anymore. I continued to play by myself... and realized after five min that it wasn't very fun.

ps- my professor brought fruit salad for breakfast for us today, yessss.

domination

I am about to write my final paper for this block... not necessarily a noteworthy event, but since I am usually the person to wait until the last possible second to complete assignments, I'm pretty damn proud. the paper isn't due until Wed at noon- and may I mention that it's Sat at 2:15??!

yesterday I took Molly for a hike since it was gorrrgeous outside. I happened to drop my cell phone approx halfway into the hike and didn't realize it until I was literally unlocking my car doors. damnit. so Molls and I did the whole trek again, and when we were walking through this big field, I realized I might not ever see my phone again. I had been telling Molly the whole time "find Momma's phone!" and when we got to this field, she took off to the very middle and started sniffing around like crazy. I ran out to where she was, and there was my phone!

in honor of my savior (because we all know I can't last an hour without my cell)-

eww.

in my zip code alone, there are 70 registered sex offenders.. including one right down the street! I'm too scared to look up Colorado Springs as a whole.

there's a Dane Cook clip about pervs living by him. maybe that will make me feel better??

ps- it would be grrreat if someone could give me those winning lottery numbers right about now.

god I love TheSuperficial

"As evidenced by these photos of her with no make-up on at Dallas airport last night, the paparazzi have pursued Jessica Simpson to no end ever since she publicly exhibited poor skills in wardrobe choice and physical fitness. And, let's be honest, they're hoping she'll do something fat. Guys, seriously, knock it off. Jessica Simpson isn't going to suddenly snap and devour her assistant in a fit of gluttony. Not even if you bring barbecue sauce, but good initiative."

-courtesy of this genius.

fashion emergency

I don't understand why girls wear the things they do. ex-
Uggs and mini skirts
down jackets with sandals

pick what season you're living in! either it's cold or warm/hot... no need for fur-rimmed hoods if you can effectively go barefoot.

back to class. ugh.

gimme gimme gimme

loooove this store

who falls in love with a song from a Nivea commercial?

oh wait, that's me. and I LOVE this. both the acoustic and normal versions of "she is love" are phenom. I have Feb 10 marked on my calendar so I can scoot my little (HA!) butt over to iTunes.

ps- who assigns annotated bibliographies as homework? it's helpful to have other people assist in the whole research process but good gracious this stuff takes forever.
pps- I took Ry to the lib with me tonight. I think he's scared the library police are going to come interrogate him about not being a student.

RAAAWR!

Stoned Little Kid After Dentist Visit - Watch more Free Videos

love it!

nyquil

... was my weekend date. I've done little else but sleep, watch S&TC the movie (whyyy can't I have better clothes?), and be pissed at the Steelers. oh, and study of course (but the exam today still kicked my butt). being sick makes me slow down. good but bad. I missed Winter Ball--though I heard it was lame. I did see My Bloody Valentine in 3-D. umm. first off it was kind of cool because it really does look like stuff is coming at you but about 20 min in, I got motion sickness (and scared, I hate horror movies) and spent the rest of the film sleeping on Ry's shoulder.

the ladies at work have surrounded me with hand sanitizer. I feel like my mother with Kleenex up my sleeve.

more later when I can breathe without making wheezing sounds.

give me money

new obsession.. soo not good for my procrastination/bank account. I just went and hid my debit card so I can't even begin to indulge. I went to my favorite store the other day--called Barracuda Bazaar in Old Colo City (yes, we do happen to call that the OCC). found a zillion things I want and today Ry surprised me at work with lunch (mm, Quiznos) and one of the tops I was checking out. it's a knee length, short sleeved cable knit sweater with gma-sized buttons... should be good with leggins and some slouchy brown boots.

I miss my fashion-interested (I won't really say obsessed) days. I've had some spurts of style here and there but most default to white Hanes t-shirts, hoodies, jeans, mocs. yikes. even my mom commented on my wardrobe this weekend. she asked why I was always wearing those ratty white things. HA! then I told her she looked like a fly fisherwoman in her boots :) love her.

but for serious, I need to amp up my closet. ps- I live such a weird dynamic of a life. I want to go into the field of Economic Development and yet here I am talking about all of the clothes I want to buy. but I won't lie- when I went to Senegal, I found that the African sense of style and fashion is badass.

THESE PLEASE!

whackos

Molly trying to climb into the bathtub

Kahlua trying to climb the window

how do I get stuck with these animals?

I feel like a wrecking ball

clumsy things I have done lately:

-ran my knee into Zuke's (my roommate's dog) open mouth, indenting my knee with three tooth marks and one big bruise.
-tripped over Molly's new toy, which is a combo of a rope and a hard plastic tube. it resulted in the bending of my toenail.
-bashed my head into the corner of my car's passenger door. I was getting gas and I turned around to toss my wallet back into the car... I misjudged the distance between my forehead and the extremely sharp corner. I now have a red line above my right eyebrow, making me look permanently surprised.
-scratched my arm on the corner of my nightstand while trying to turn the alarm off on my phone. I must have hit it at the perfect angle because I have had at least three people notice it.
-cut my finger on my parents' fridge. I was putting lettuce away in the bottom drawer and I happened to jam my knuckle into the lid part.

honestly, how is this even possible that I get injured so often? I used to be the most bruise-free person, always organized and careful and particular about my movements. now I find myself flailing about, banging into anything or anyone who enters my life.

in other news, I'm up at my parents' for the weekend. can't wait for some long walks, good meals, generally just some time away. Molly and I are going to bond, seeing as how she has recently been ripping up the couch. I guess it's her way of being mad at me for going back to school... the vet calls it separation anxiety. I call it being a brat.

Molly and Me?

I feel like this is turning into my version of Marley and Me... the adventures of Molly (and sometimes me). I can't really help it- she provides so much entertainment in my life on a daily basis, I feel as though I should share it. I also feel like a mom who is overly proud of/in love with her kid: I think everyone wants to hear about her all the time.


last night for some reason Ry and I both woke up at 3:30. I got up to get some water, and of course, once I'm up, everyone's up. I had to let the dogs out and when I let them back in, I fell victim to her latest scheme- stealing my spot in bed. we have a king sized bed and Ry and I sleep on a space of about a twin because the dogs take over. Molly though has recently been craving the one spot where she can't lay- my pillow. when she senses I'm about to go to sleep, or when I let her in from her nightly trip outside, she distracts me with something cute or annoying and then takes off around the corner to our room. when I finally get there, she's all settled in on top of my pillows, head on her paws, tail wagging just the tiniest bit. and she will NOT MOVE! no matter what I do--tempt her with treats, jingle the keys like we're going for a ride, yell at her--she will not get out of that spot. my latest method of getting my place back is just laying on top of her until she gets too hot or too crowded. even then it can take five to ten minutes. what a brat.


here she is, being the cutest puppy ever. Ry added the beer bottle (of course).


side story- this morning I got to class about 45 min early because I had some reading to finish up. I'm a big highlighter when I read and I tend to leave the marker uncapped when I'm busy doing other things. I had to get up and move in the middle of working and I must have smushed the pen tip up against my front... and of course I have a white lacy tank top on today. I walked around for about two hours with pink scribbles all over my right boob. classic.

tomorrow- more stories like the highlighter one. I really have become so clumsy.

list style

- my newest cocktail: cranberry juice and lime vodka. flavored vodka usually makes me cringe but I stumbled upon this creation a while back and now it's my go-to drink of choice. mmm.

- I have some days when I love my school and some when I hate it more than anything in the world. today (and this week, mostly) has been one of the lovey times. the weather here is gorgeous, the Econ dept makes my life easier, and when I get stuff done and taken care of, I feel good. being busy and productive is a good thing.

- today in class we watched Grapes of Wrath after about an hour, hour and a half of discussion. my prof had to leave at 12:15 (class normally ends at 12 but we went way over today) and literally the minute she walked out the door, three people packed up and booked it. haa.

- Molly went on a long walk yesterday, and then I took her for a bath at Wag N Wash. what a cool place- you pay $13 and get all your supplies for a doggy shower: shampoo, "cream rinse" (haha), exfoliating brushes (hahaha), towels, apron, etc. Molls did great with the washing part, she just plopped down in the bin and did her best to look wet and cute. but when it came to the blow dry, she about fainted. they give you a drying station with a blow drying hose and towels and everything, and once I turned that air on, she look petrified. I couldn't help but laugh because she thought this hose was going to blow her away. silly puppy.

seriously?

these two are just ridiculous. celebrity gossip is my vice and I am just never ever not shocked or surprised by the antics of Sick-Facial-Hair and Fake-Boobs.



can we just talk about 65 degrees in the Springs today? ahh, gorgeous. it was torture weather for the first day of block five. dear summer, please come fast. love, your biggest fan.

homework time. one of my assignments is to watch the inauguration tomorrow- done and done! I am worried though that something bad is going to go down... I've heard the security in DC is insane right now but still.

ps- pics to come from both Friday and Saturday nights. Ry took me to dinner at my favorite restaurant and we got all prettied up... then rushed home to change into sweats. :)

bowling

Ry got a Wii for Christmas (yes, we've finally caught up to everyone else in the tech sector) and we've been playing it here and there with friends and family. I have proudly acheived pro status, although it's taken some help, but I can sorta hold my own when we pull out the remotes on non-drinking nights. today Heather, a woman I work with, invited me to come REAL bowling with her and her son, Konnor. it's been a while, mostly because I absolutely suck at firstly not scratching the crap out of the alley and 2. even hitting one pin in three frames.

today I broke 100 on all three games! it was a miracle (and no, the fact that Kon had us all use bumpers did not have anything to do with this) and my highest score was a 130-something. for a girl who considers 60-80 anywhere in the realm of "pretty freakin good," I was impressed with myself. I also whooped up on the Fast and the Furious racing game and mini bowling- Heather had to remind me that beating a nine-year-old isn't necessarily one of my biggest accomplishments.

hmm.. other weekend activities? I had dinner with my lovely first year roommate Laura on Friday. we shared a pitcher and some artichoke dip over lots of stories from the past semester. too funny to think about where we both were about three years ago. college is so the time of change. also on Friday we headed out east for Ry's dad's birthday party. it was loud but lots of fun- Larry, who is 80, was my dancing partner for most of the evening. one unfortunate part of the night occurred when this guy (I'll call him A for you-know-what) asked me why I was even talking to him. I was sitting with Ry, our roommate, and their two friends, just talking crap and drinking beers. A comes up with a bottle of Crowne (first sign of complex- short, bald guy with a handle of Crowne, taking shots from the bottle) and starts chatting with the boys. I make a comment--nothing too big or noteworthy--and A just looks at me.
A: why are you talking?
me: umm..
A: stares at me, light gleaming off of his drunken bald head
me: I was just hanging out
A: but why are you talking to me?
me: stares at him, light shining off of my shiny lustrous hair (haaa)
A: you're a girl.
me: yes... (very good Einstein, are you sure that whiskey isn't smart juice?)
A: you shouldn't talk to me if you're a girl. it doesn't matter what you say.
me: ?#*$%^&$*(#$#($(@!?!??!?!!?
A: you have no importance.
me: middle fingers both go up and I walk off
all the other boys: SOUDFwPEHF@)*(#&$@203)#*&@#)*(WSDF!

what a prick. his wife (also fat and extremely unattractive) came up to me later and asked if I had learned my place and lesson yet. I smiled sweetly and did not say a word.

off to get some sleep before my first day of block five. more later this week- the inauguration should be interesting!

lottery

I said a couple of days ago that I would post my list of "to-dos" if I ever won the lottery. due to boredom at work and lack of other noteworthy items to write about, here it is:

(disclaimer: my lottery winnings would have to be in the tens of millions for all of my wishes to occur)
(also, this is in order of what I would do first, second, etc)

1. pay my parents back for my college costs... aka about $200k.
2. sock a good chunk away in savings accounts, investments, venture capital firms, etc.
3. buy cars! a jeep wrangler and audi tt for me, a little sports car for my momma, an old refurbished car for my daddy, whatever my brother wanted, a cadi for ry.
4. pay off various people's credit card debts. names not to be disclosed!
5. pay off my parents house completely.
6. SHOPPING SPREE!
7. personal trainer and chef. mm.
8. pay out the lease on my at-school house and start looking for a badass apartment in downtown Denver.
9. put some away for an amaaaazing wedding.
10. vacation! go to Alaska, New Zealand, back to Africa, back to Europe... take a couple of months and travel.
11. give a lot lot lot to humane societies all over the country. (I'd probably do this one after number five)

of course there are a million other things I'd love to do but first I need those winning numbers. or I guess I could just marry some old rich guy :) either way, it would be nice!

le senegal

I miss Africa. a lot. I got an email today from one of our off-campus study coordinators, asking for pictures from my study abroad experience because they're apparently putting together a presentation for other Africa-hopefuls. just looking through a few of those pictures and reading my friends' old blogs makes me so nostalgic. it was one of the most incredibly difficult and challenging experiences of my life... actually, I'll go as far to say that it was the single most ridiculous and incredible thing I've ever done. live in Africa for a couple of months. would have been longer but hey, sometimes life throws you curveballs that keep spinning and twisting almost a year later.

this and that

- yesterday I went to the dollar store to get some toys for the dogs. I figured they needed something to keep them busy while all of us are gone during the day... for Christmas I bought Molly one of those Kong things (you stick a treat inside and the dog is supposed to be all occupied with getting the treat out, which is an impossible task) but she just carries it around in her mouth and doesn't really care about what's inside. whenever I buy the dogs rawhides, Molly will eat both hers and Zuke's in about two minutes. so yesterday I spent a grand total of six dollars on tennis balls, stuffed hamburgers, a thing that looks like a pair of dice, a tug-of-war rope, etc. Ry bought Molly a big butcher type bone for five bucks, so I figured we were set and good to go. this morning, there is one toy left. the bone is gone, the dice are gone, the tennis balls are shredded, stuffing is everywhere... only a slobbery, mud-covered squeaky hamburger remains.

- I found a used disposable camera over the weekend and took it to Walgreens to get developed. I'm so pro-digital these days that I normally refuse to get any physical photos but I had a coupon :) so I was excited about getting these pics back--I had no idea where they were from and I thought maybe they'd be these really flattering shots of me and all of my wonderful, exotic adventures. ha. they were crap. I must have had a few beers and then gone into a dark room and pressed the shutter button about 27 times. every picture was grey (gray? I never know the right one), blurry, smudged, etc. and I could barely make out my big booty in a couple of them. it was like getting all of the correct lottery numbers except for one. lame.

- my newest craving has been Frank's hot sauce. if you know me well, you'll understand my aversion to all things spicy. mild salsa makes my eyes water. but lately I've been just drooling over Frank's and I've been trying to put it on everything. Ry's dad made us scrambled eggs the other day... I doused them in Frank's. I normally am creeped out by Ramen but when a heavy dose of Frank's? Mmm. after I'm done eating tears will be streaming down my face and I'll have drank a gallon of water, but my craving is satisfied... until about two hours later when I want some more. what is that all about? and no, I am anything but pregnant.

- speaking of the lottery, my newest plan is to win. maybe tomorrow I'll write about what I would do with 70 million dollars.

ry and i at lunch before christmas (and no, this was not one of my disposable cam pics):

dreams

I have been having so, SO many dreams lately. dozens of dreams that I remember every morning, down to the minute detail. I usually have dreams but when I try to remember them, they slip away. they remind me of thos squishy tubes with glitter and water inside... if you tried to grab onto the end, it would turn inside out and you'd drop it.

the weird thing is that recently my dreams have been all about death. for a week or so it was me who was dying. every night I would have a dream in which I died in a different way, but I always say my death and the aftermath. one that really sticks out for me is a dream in which I was apparently contemplating suicide. I had written a letter and after some dream-events (including seeing a play in this huge theatre that reminded me of SCN's theater

**I just finished writing this insanely long post and pressed "publish" only to find that the above is all that saved. sigh. I am so discourgaed, but I will try to summarize.

okay, so theater that reminded me of SCN's except maybe triple in size. after I wrote my good-bye letter and those events occurred, I decided to go through with killing myself. at that moment an eclectic (and I mean eclectic) group of friends showed up--friends from kindergarten, friends from CC, from the Springs, from work--and convinced me that they should be the ones to do it. they should make it a murder instead of a suicide. I happened to agree (sure don't know why I wouldn't???) and proceeded to watch them cut up my body and then roast those chunks in the oven. I seriously floated up above myself and could smell the cooking flesh. what in the hell does that even mean?! the craziest part is that I happened to wake up right in the middle of the dream (right as my friends showed up). it was about 4:30 in the morning and I got up to check on the dogs. normally the whole clan--two dogs, a cat, Ry and I--sleep in our bed but the pups had been bad that night so they were banished to the family room. I was awake for about five to ten minutes, and when I got in bed, it took me another ten or so minutes to fall back asleep. when I did, I fell right back into my dream, the exact spot where I had left off and everything continued as though I had never woken up in the first place.

I am such a whackjob.

so after the Kirby-dying dream phase, I continued with the death theme and moved on to other people dying, including but not limited to Ry's dad and people I have traveled with in the past. last night I had a dream where people died, but this time I didn't really know them that well. it was a Crash (the movie) type dream. I was involved with all of these different events and they all happened to tie in together and things were just going crazy by the end. there were drug deals, murders, sneaky spy things... whatever. I honestly woke up this morning and stared at the ceiling for almost half an hour, trying to figure out where in the hell my brain was getting this stuff. then Ry and I drove to his parents' house for breakfast and he had to scream at me so that I didn't blow a red light. I was so absorbed in figuring out these dreams, it's almost become an obsession.

my life is weird, both in sleep and while I'm awake. case in point- Molly was up on the kitchen table again this morning. she was not eating cat food or toys this time, but she was just laying there and crying because she couldn't get down. maybe she thinks she's just like the kitten and she wants to live in the cage up there?? who knows. then when we got back from breakfast we found a plastic bag shredded all over the family room and both dogs hiding in the bedroom. they are now outside in the backyard with a bowl of water and NO TOYS. crackheads.